A Short History of Almost Something
by saoulbete
Summary: It's New Years Eve at the precinct. Maybe she'll finally get around to crossing off the one thing that's been at the bottom of her resolutions list for the last three years. Sometimes it's what isn't said that means more than what is.


A/N another not-quite song fic, this time with a little expiremental thing. I've just been listening to a lot of Amanda Palmer recently, and there is a sort of thought to continue this using two songs from Theatre is Evil as inspiration, but those just go headlong into angst involving 3x01 ending differently. But yeah, you can have never heard any AFP and still get this, but there's a little bit more if you're familiar with it.

"Some New Year's Eve party, huh?"

"Yes, _so_ wonderful. I'm pretty sure I'm drinking rubbing alcohol."

"Hey, Janie, you going to finally make good on that one thing you've had at that bottom of your resolutions list for the last three years now?"

"Fuck you, Korsak."

"What, you act as though we don't know. C'mon, I've got fifty bucks on you finally doing it with the Doc."

"You really need to redefine your meaning of _sure thing._ Every year you lose."

"I don't understand why you two make this so difficult. You love her. She loves you. Everyone can see that. But you two – you refuse to just, you know, get together already. You're perfect for each other."

"It ever make it through your thick skull that maybe that's _why_ we're not together?"

"Wait, the reason that you're not together is because you're perfect together?"

"Yes!"

"I'll never pretend to understand women."

"That's why you have three ex wives and I have none. Oh, wipe that smirk off your face."

"C'mon Rizzoli, really, what's the hangup?"

"You said it yourself, it's too perfect."

.

"What?"

"It's too perfect. It'd just be so damn easy. _Nothing_ in life is that easy. There's a catch somewhere, and t's going to come up and bite us both in the ass. If something's too good to be true, then it usually is."

"You see what this is, Rizzoli?"

"Yeah, the world's tiniest violin playing _My Heart Bleeds For You_. Seen it a hundred times now."

"It means that if you're not gonna shit, get off the pot. Either make a move, or stop mooning over her like a lovesick teenager."

"I do not moon like a lovesick teenager."

"You haven't taken your eyes off of her all night."

"I'm make sure one of you leches doesn't bother her."

"Defending your turf is more like it."

"Fuck you. Why am I still talking to you?"

"Because you know I'm right."

"Which is why she's flirting with O'Leary over there?"

"Take it from a man, we know when we're being used as jealousy fodder. She does it on purpose."

"Tell that to her last three boyfriends."

"Oh, they knew full well what they were being used for."

"Then why stick around?"

"You kidding? Miss the chance to be with _that_?"

"So nice of you to join the conversation, _Barrold_."

"How could I miss _this_ conversation? It's like a New Year's tradition."

"You know what, fuck both of you. Look, they're starting the countdown."

"You know, Rizzoli, I think you can make it across the room before the ball drops."

"Hey, anyone who hasn't had it happen yet has no right to be talking about balls dropping."

_10_

"Low blow, Rizzoli. But Frost has a point. Look at her, looking at you. She wants this just as much as you do."

"I can't. Not now. Not like this."

_9_

"Can't, or won't?"

"For the billonth time, fuck you. Fuck you and the little dog you rode in on."

_8_

"You have enough to drink there, Jane? You're mixing your metaphors."

"Not nearly enough, Frost. Not nearly enough."

_7_

"It's not too late. I know for a fact that you didn't accomplish the first thing on your resolutions list, you might as well accomplish the last."

"It's not like you've gone bungee jumping either, old man."

_6_

"I swear, chicks are so complicated. How hard is it to just go for it?"

"And how hard would it be to keep it up? Remember what it was like the last time we had it out? Now imagine what it would've been like if we'd been _together _together."

_5_

"Fair point, Janie. But you don't have to be so cynical about it. What if things work out for you two?"

"Ex-wives. You, three. Me, zero. And you put money on this?"

_4_

"I've got twenty five riding on you two finally admitting things down in Maura's office, over a dead body. Odds are thirteen to eight on that one."

"Yeah, well I have my pension riding on _Jane's too chickenshit to do anything._"

_3_

"That's a pretty big bet. I've seen your self resolve around a box of gummy bears."

"Go big or go home. And unlike you, I only bet on sure things."

_2_

"I don't get it. You've stared death in the face how many times, and yet you're afraid of a relationship?"

"You two just don't get it. And besides, there's a reason why she isn't heading over here either."

_1_

"Our BO?"

"Yeah. That. This isn't just a relatinship, y'know."

_Happy new year!_

"It's love."

"Hey, Rizzoli, here. To actually accomplishing our resolutions."

"Fucking cheers. God this stuff sucks."

"Spend too much time drinking that top shelf stuff with Doctor Isles to appreciate the cheap swill?"

"Fuck you. Fuck you both. With an obnoxiously large strap on."

"Hey, this did not become the Jane Rizzoli fantasy hour. Just because you refuse to tap that doesn't mean we're good substitutes. I can you right now I do not have the coloring to pull off most of her wardrobe."

"Not. Talking. To. You. Frost."

"He has a point. Actually, Detective Frost, why don't you come tell me all about that point-"

"Wait-oh, right, that point."

"Wait where are you tw-hi, Maura."

"Hi."

"You look nice."

"So do you. That's new."

"Appeared in my closet. I assume courtesy of Ma. Oh god, speaking of which is she flirting with Cavanaugh?"

"It would appear she is showing a more than friendly interest in him."

"Vomit."

"It's sweet."

"I'm diabetic, I can't do sweet."

"I've seen your chart, you're not – oh."

"We've really got to work on your sarcasm meter."

"And how do you propose to do that?"

"Spend more time with me."

"Is that what Vince and Barry were teasing you about?"

"Yeah, my inability to accomplish any of my resolutions."

"None of them?"

"Let's see, haven't gone bungee jumping, haven't stuck to only eating fast food once a week, don't have a hundred percent close rate -"

"You really had bungee jumping on your list of resolutions?"

"Yeah."

"Well why haven't you gone? It's certainly the easiest thing on that list. It requires no long term commitment, no changes in your ordinary routine, has no circumstances outside of your control-"

"I'm not a big fan of heights."

"Are you quite all right? You're looking slightly flushed."

"Yeah, fine. Just too much too drink."

"C'mon let's get you some air."

"Wait Maura – where are we – _no._"

"What's wrong?"

"We're on the roof."

"Yes, we are."

"Maura, get away from there."

"You know what the secret to acrophobia is, Jane?"

"I'm not _afraid_ of heights. I just don't like them. I'm clumsy enough to take a header off of here if I step funny."

"So it's not the height itself you're afraid of, it's the falling off?"

"Exactly."

"You should just trust yourself. It's all in being aware of your body, and where it stands in relationship to the objects around you. Trust yourself to be able to stay balanced, and not go over the edge."

"Yeah, well, you know me, graceful as ever."

"Do you trust me?"

"You, yes. Me, no. There's no way I'm going over there. I'm staying right here in the middle."

"Suit yourself. It can be absolutely exilerating though. You don't know what it is you're missing out on. The view of the city from here, it's beautiful."

"I'll take your word for it. C'mon, Maur, it's freezing. Let's go back inside."

"Okay."

"Hey, you got plans for tomorrow? Well, today, really, since it is after midnight and all?"

"No, I don't believe I do."

"Wanna ring in the new year with a movie marathon?"

"Sounds great. My place?"

"Works for me. You supply the popcorn, I'll supply the beer."

"It's a date."

"I uh – should probably get going. I'll see you later, then?"

"Yes. Happy new year, Jane."

"Happy new year, Maura. I – uh – good night, then."

"Good night."

"You leaving, Rizzoli?"

"Yeah, Korsak. I did my duty, showed up for the party, now I'm going home to drink something that's not going to give me an ulcer."

"So, bottom of the resolutions list for year number four?"

"Fuck you."

"I almost thought I won this year, when you and the Doc disappeared."

"Again, fuck you."

"You know I wouldn't do this if I didn't care."

"Yeah, well, you sure have a funny way of showing that you care. It hasn't happened, it's not going to happen, it's a silly little fantasy, and has the same snowball's chance in hell of happening as Garciaparra asking me to marry him."

"You have a thing for Nomar?"

"Yeah, like every Yankees fan my age has a thing for Jeter. Childhood heroes and shit."

"I still don't get this whole _too perfect to be together_ thing."

"It's – look, we have a good thing going. Why fuck that up with something silly like a relationship? It's just going to throw off whatever karmic balance we've got or something. I can't risk pissing off the universe like that."

"You think getting together with Maura is going to piss off the universe?"

"Yes!"

"Women, really."

"Too good to be true, Korsak. Nothing can be that simple, that easy. Eventually something's going to happen and everything's going to go tits up and we can't do that to each other. It's failure by design."

"Or it's the greatest thing that could happen to both of you. Not every relationship is doomed to failure."

"Tell that to the divorce rate. Tell that to the amount of dead exes we see. Tell that to _your_ three ex wives."

"Do you really want to go forever without telling her?"

"...No."

"So what are you waiting for? It could be the first thing you cross of your list."

"I'll get around to it, eventually."

"Eventually?"

"Look, it's not like either of us is going anywhere. I don't have to do it now. I don't even have to do it this year."

"So you're just going to spend another three hundred and sixty five days pining away? You're going to make her wait another year too?"

"Look, there's a reason why she hasn't just jumped in with two feet either. We both know there's too many ways for it to go wrong compared to what we'd gain if it went right."

"That's it, I give up. Fine, you want to spend another year being miserable, be my guest. Just don't complain to me about how miserable you are."

"Fuck you."

"Happy new year to you too, Janie."


End file.
